By Emma Cooper
April 28, 2025

I never thought I’d find myself feeling this way about my friend. I mean, we’ve been close for a while now, and I genuinely love her—not in a friendly, platonic way, but in a deeper way that makes my heart race every time I see her. It’s been a mix of emotions: joy, excitement, and a lot of confusion. She’s one of those people who lights up a room without even trying, and I can’t help but be drawn to her energy, her smile, everything.

The only problem is, I have no idea if she sees me the same way. She told me she’s a lesbian, which gave me a glimmer of hope. I thought, “Maybe… maybe there’s a chance,” but I’m still unsure if that means she might feel the same about me. I guess it’s because she’s just so easy to be around—she makes everything feel natural, like we’re meant to be friends, and that’s the part that messes with my head. She’s my friend. But my feelings for her go beyond that, and sometimes I wonder if she can sense it.

The only “progress” I’ve made so far is that we have matching profile pictures on Outlook. It’s funny—one of those small things that probably doesn’t mean anything at all, but to me, it feels like a little connection that I hold onto, even if it’s just digital. I keep hoping that one day, I’ll be able to share how I feel with her, but the thought of it terrifies me. What if she doesn’t feel the same? What if I ruin our friendship?

I get so nervous around her. My words trip over themselves, my palms get sweaty, and I just wish I could be more confident. I try to hide it, but I know she probably picks up on it. I just want to be near her, to be close to her, and I wish I could stop feeling so self-conscious.

There’s also that one moment in December, the one that’s been replaying in my mind ever since. It was freezing outside, and the ice on the ground made everything slippery. Without thinking, we ended up holding hands for a few seconds, just to steady ourselves. It didn’t last long, but in those few seconds, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. I don’t know if it meant anything to her, or if it was just a practical thing. But for me, it felt like something more, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

I don’t want to rush anything, but I also don’t want to keep these feelings bottled up forever. It’s hard to figure out when or how to bring it up, or even if I should. For now, I guess I’ll just keep enjoying the little moments we have, hoping that one day, I can be brave enough to share how I really feel. But for now, I’ll hold onto my nervous heart and keep hoping she might feel the same way—if not now, then maybe someday.