April 21, 2025
by Naomi Ellsworth

I don’t know when it became cool to talk about your girlfriend like she’s a category on a website instead of an actual person. But lately, I’ve been noticing it more and more.

Guys I know—some of them friends, some just dudes passing through conversations—will start talking about their girlfriends like they’re trying to win points on a scoreboard. And it’s always about sex. Like that’s the only part of her that matters. Like she’s just a collection of things she does for them.

It’s not even about intimacy. It’s about performance. Bragging. Like they’re reading from some script they learned watching things that were never meant to be real life. It’s uncomfortable. It’s disappointing. It makes me wonder if they even know the person they’re dating. Do they know what her laugh sounds like when she’s really tired? Or how she gets quiet when she’s thinking? Or what she’s passionate about?

Because I swear, all I ever hear is, “She’s crazy in bed,” or “You wouldn’t believe what she lets me do.” And I just sit there, biting my tongue, thinking—dude. That’s your girlfriend. Someone who chose to care about you. And this is how you talk about her?

It’s like they forget she’s human the moment they start talking.

I’m not saying people can’t talk about sex. But maybe try doing it like the person matters. Like she’s more than a body and some wild story for the group chat.

Just… do better. Please.