April 22, 2025

By Tyler Greene

It’s been almost a year since we broke up, but it feels like time has stretched out into an endless loop of pain. The days are getting harder, not easier. Every single day, I wake up with the weight of it all hanging over me. She’s there, whether I want her to be or not. In my thoughts, in my dreams, even in the smallest reminders of her.

I’ve tried everything. I went on depression meds, started therapy. But no matter what I do, the memory of her lingers. The way she looked at me, the way we laughed together, the quiet moments we shared—they all come rushing back when I least expect it. It’s exhausting.

It’s like a constant ache in my chest, a dull pain that never really goes away. And it’s hard, so hard to feel like I’m moving forward when it feels like she’s always right there with me, even when she isn’t.

The only time I feel like I can escape it all, even for just a little while, is when I’m high. That’s the truth. Weed’s my go-to these days. I started drinking a bit too much for a while, but I switched to smoking and taking edibles. It helps me numb out, make the thoughts stop, if only for a little while. It’s the only way I can silence the noise in my head.

On weekends, I’ll smoke and just try to forget everything for a few hours. During the week, when things get really tough, I’ll take edibles to help me get through the day. The highs don’t last, though. The minutes, the hours of peace always fade, and I’m left with the same emptiness. The same sadness.

I’m stuck in this cycle, trying to keep going but not really knowing how. Some days it feels like I’m just existing, not living. I keep hoping that things will change, that eventually, I’ll feel better, but I don’t know when—or if—that’ll happen. All I know is that every day is becoming harder and harder as time goes by.