By Emma Richards

April 27, 2025

I don’t know how to put this, but I feel like no one truly gets what it’s like. Maybe it’s dramatic, maybe it’s just me, but sometimes I feel like it would be easier if I were just gone. I can’t stand pretending everything is fine when inside I’m suffocating. The worst part is, I don’t think anyone sees it.

Lately, I’ve been feeling this overwhelming weight on my chest, like I’m stuck in a world that doesn’t make sense. The world of endless expectations, especially when it comes to money. My parents, bless them, work hard to make ends meet, but they’re always complaining about how much my college tuition is draining them. I hear it all the time, and I hate it. I hate that they’re struggling because of me, and I hate that I can’t do anything to fix it. Sometimes, I just wish I could disappear and make it all go away.

I know it’s dramatic to feel like this, but growing up in a poor family has made me feel like I’ll never amount to anything. I watch everyone around me talk about their dreams, their plans for the future, and I just feel… stuck. I want to be successful. I want to help my friends who grew up like I did, but the reality is, money rules the world, and if you don’t have it, you’re nothing.

It feels like there’s this constant pressure to succeed, to be more than just another statistic. I see people who’ve had the privileges I never had, and I can’t help but feel bitter. Sometimes, I wish I was born into a wealthy family where money wasn’t a constant stress. I wish my parents didn’t have to fight about finances all the time. Every argument feels like a reminder that I’m a burden, that I’m just adding to their struggles.

I hate that I feel this way, but I can’t help it. Sometimes, I just want to disappear. Not because I want to hurt anyone, but because it feels like the weight would be easier to bear if I wasn’t around to constantly remind everyone of the struggle. I wish there was a way out of this feeling. I wish I could make my parents proud without making them pay a price I know they can’t afford.

I know I have to push through this. I know that things will get better eventually. But some days, it just feels too much. It’s hard to stay positive when you’re constantly reminded of how small and insignificant you feel in a world that doesn’t care if you’re struggling. All I want is a way out, but for now, I’m just trying to keep going, one step at a time.

And maybe one day, when I make it, I’ll be able to help people like me, people who know what it feels like to carry a weight they shouldn’t have to. Maybe that’s what will keep me going.