April 24, 2025
By: Emma Lawson

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years, and I still love him deeply. I’m still madly in love with him. But lately, things have become more complicated, and the strain is growing.

I’m moving this summer, and I don’t think he’s coming with me. The thought of being apart is hard, and it feels like the gap between us is widening. I love him, but I’m angry too. He’s hurting me in ways that I can’t ignore anymore. And even though I want to stay with him, my mind keeps wandering. I’ve never been single before, and now, for the first time, I’m feeling like maybe I need to explore what it feels like to be on my own.

A guy started at my work a couple months ago, and we’ve been talking more lately. I didn’t think much of it at first, but I’m starting to feel like he’s been flirting with me. And to be honest, I think I’m starting to like him too.

Last night, I had a dream about him. We kissed. It was so real, so intimate, and so romantic. I woke up feeling guilty, but also kind of… relieved? I don’t know. It’s a weird feeling. I’m still in love with my boyfriend, but at the same time, I can’t ignore what’s happening with this other guy, and I’m questioning everything.

I just wish I didn’t feel so conflicted, but I do. I don’t know what to do with all of these feelings.

— Emma Lawson